Friday, January 19, 2007
More kid questions
At a Christian school the Bible teacher finished the day's lesson. It was now time for the usual question period.
"Teacher?" asked little Melvin. "There's something I need to know."
"What's that son?" asked the teacher.
"Well, according to the Scriptures, the children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?"
"Right."
"And the children of Israel beat up the Philistines, right?"
"Right."
"And the children of Israel built the temple, right?"
"Again, you are correct."
"And the children of Israel fought the Egyptians, and the children of Israel fought the Romans, and the children of Israel were always doing something important, right?"
"All that is correct," agreed the teacher. "Son, what specifically is your question?"
"What I need to know is this," replied Melvin.
"What were all the grown-ups doing?"
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http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Salesman Joke
A Minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles.
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Coincidentally, by chance, while checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new Bibles that had never been opened and distributed. So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who would be willing to sell the Bibles door-to-door for $10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the church.
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Peter, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task. The reverend knew that Peter and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were likely capable of selling some Bibles but he had serious doubts about Louie.
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Louie was just a little local farmer, who had always tended to keep to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment. Poor little Louis stuttered very badly. But, not wanting to discourage poor Louis, the reverend decided to let him try anyway.
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He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked with Bibles and asked them to meet with him and report the results of their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.
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Anxious to find out how successful they were, the reverend immediately asked Peter, "Well, Peter, how did you make out selling our Bibles last week?" Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Peter replied, "Reverend,using my sales Prowess, I was able to sell 20 Bibles, and here's the $200 I collected on behalf of the church." "Fine job, Peter!" The reverend said, vigorously shaking his hand. "You are indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to you."
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Turning to Paul, he asked "And Paul, how many Bibles did you manage to sell for the church last week?" Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied,"Reverend, I am a professional salesman and was happy to give the church the benefit of my sales expertise. Last week I sold 28 Bibles on behalf of the church, and here's $280 I collected." The reverend responded, "That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are truly a professional salesman and the church is also indebted to you."
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Apprehensively, the reverend turned to little Louie and said, "And Louie, did you manage to sell any Bibles last week?" Louie silently offered the reverend a large envelope. The reverend opened it and counted the contents. "What is this?" the reverend exclaimed. "Louie, there's $3200 in here! Are you suggesting that you sold 320 Bibles for the church, door-to-door, in just one week?" Louie just nodded.
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"That's impossible!" both Peter and Paul said in unison. "We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold ten times as many Bibles as we could." "Yes, this does seem unlikely," the reverend agreed. "I think you'd better explain how you managed to accomplish this, Louie."
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Louie shrugged. "I-I-I- re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-knowf-f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered. Impatiently, Peter interrupted. "For crying out loud, Louie, just tell us what you said to them when they answered the door!"
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"A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louis replied,"W-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-thisB-B-B-B-Bible f-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks ---o-o-o-or--- wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-r-r-r ead it t-to y-y-you?"
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---Remember when the funniest jokes were the clean ones? They still are!
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A cheerful heart is good medicine.. (Prov 17:22)
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Got this in an e-mail from friend, John
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Date: Tue 16 Jan 18:25:19 CST 2007
From: "John . . .
Subject: Fw: Bibles
To: [a lot of us]
